(www.welcomed.com) Dan is a single guy who has many women in his life. They talk to him, tell him what they want and some want to have sensual experiences with him. As he learned the technique of DOing and about Deliberate Orgasm, his skills with women got sharper. In this interview he candidly describes key points to answer the age-old question-- What does a woman want in a man?


what does a woman want in a man

When you felt nervous first, how did that transition from performance anxiety to DOing her?

"Through thinking about it and me deliberately doing it. I did have performance anxiety at first. I didn’t think that I was going to be bad at DOing. The truth is I had these tools. I knew that that was going to go well and I also knew that no matter how badly I performed, my finger was going to touch her clit. She was going to feel good."

How do you distinguish between approving of a woman and wanting to change her or fix her somehow?

"Fixing her has been a huge thing that I have been flashing about in my mind since the Common Sensuality course. Don’t fix her. She doesn’t need fixing. A woman doesn’t need fixing and that is huge. That has become my personal internal credo, and then do whatever it is that I am going to do or then I approve. That’s the first thing that I think of. It’s working well for me. It is a viewpoint that I am being deliberate about now and I am looking forward to making it a part of who I am."

Online access to educational DOing videos and the entire transcript for this episode are available at the The Welcomed Consensus Podcast

(www.welcomed.com) Sensual researcher, Elle, gives us a candid account of exactly what inspired her to make an advanced female masturbation video. She describes how she masturbates, the specifics of doing an exercise called connections to create a full body orgasm and how it adds to her sex life with her partner.


“I love connections because it makes other sex acts even more sensitive and more sensual. I love it when I kiss somebody and I can feel that sensation, a direct connection to my clitoris…” ~Elle

Watch this educational video Connections for Full Body Orgasm online.

The entire transcript for this episode and online access to the educational video is available at the The Welcomed Consensus Podcast

(www.welcomed.com) Deborah talks of finding love with a partner who has sensual training. She expresses that DOing has added to her sex life. It makes sexuality an integrated part of love and their relationship. She has this wonderful sensual energy and connection with her partner throughout the day with DOing.


DeborahandNoorTonyPodcast25_blog.jpgHere are some excerpts...

Deborah: One of the first concepts that stood out for me is about seduction because it has to do with me allowing the man to put all of his attention on me. It’s actually something that is a very new concept. But as soon as it started happening, I felt with my partner, because he has had a lot of training in this work, I felt like it was this thing that I’ve always wanted. It felt so right and yet very different from how I’ve been living my life and how I’ve been looking for a partner. So that whole way of putting the attention on the woman in order for both people to find happiness or to find pleasure is extraordinary and I think revolutionary.

Deborah: So what I mean when I say that my partner has training is that he’s gone through years of courses with The Welcomed Consensus and also living in the community. So that means that he is trained to give Deliberate Orgasm and also trained in a high level of interpersonal communication skills. He has a vision for how he wants to live his life that’s very specific and chosen and that is very rare for anybody.  Specifically, I think for me, and if more men would do it, they’d find more women that really wanted to be with them. So I feel really lucky that I found one.

The entire transcript for this episode is available at the Welcomed Consensus website www.welcomed.com/podcasts/

(www.welcomed.com) In this episode internationally recognized Tantra Expert and radio talk show host, Devi Ward, describes her recent experience of a whole body and mind expansion.This showed her ways of approaching sexuality and her body that she hadn’t conceived of before that she believes anyone can learn.

devi-ward-tantra-expert.jpgHere are some excerpts...

Devi: How I believe I can integrate the technique of Deliberate Orgasm – to answer that is more than just the physical technique. It’s the ideology. It’s encompassing our full sensory experience. 

The style of Tantra that I teach is very yogic. I was a monk – we are sitting there meditating and we are doing this thing – so there is not a lot of instruction about being super-sensual and hanging red drapes, etc. We’ve incorporated that to a degree, but I knew I wanted to learn more because it hasn’t been my focus. My focus has been on this yoga. 

So that is part of it, part of the understanding on how to more fully inhabit, embrace, experience, delight in my sensory experience.

I’ve never experienced another woman’s orgasm like that for a prolonged period of time. From my lineage of instruction, every orgasm is a glimpse of enlightenment.That’s one of the yogic things we learn in Tibetan Tantra. So I am having this experience of this woman being in the throws of enlightened consciousness and that is affecting and impacting the entire room. That is so powerful.

The entire transcript for this episode is available at the Welcomed Consensus website www.welcomed.com/podcasts/

(www.welcomed.com) What does it take to live with pleasure as a priority? In this episode listen to Mary, a successful business owner and mother, who decided to have it all with pleasure at the center of her life. She discovers an expanded definition of female orgasm and the role it plays in living a life that is sensually driven rather than stress driven.

Here are some excerpts...
I was ready to commit to making pleasure the center of my life.  I made a lot of changes in my life in the last 6 months.  I decided to do work that I loved so that I could live a life in harmony with my family and with my passion and with my purpose in life. That created an opening for me to go further with that intention. 
The retreat was more than information, but a window to a possibility that I never really understood was available. This course was so grounded in genuine connection between people that I didn't miss not checking my phone every 30 seconds. I didn't miss some of the usual vices that occupy my time and I was able to slow down, to be connected to the sensual experience of pleasure.


I think learning about tumescence has helped me to get clearer about how to meet the goal of creating more of the orgasmic, sensual experience in my life. Recognizing that that need has been so big. It’s been huge and now I have tools to live a life that is sensually driven versus stress driven. 


For instance, one of the goals was about enjoying home life as a mother with my kids and thinking a lot about dinner time. Back to this kitchen narrative -  I got a chance to see and experience a way of sharing a meal and the narrative of that meal coming together in a very different and fun way versus a stressful way. That’s also beautiful and very pleasurable. So that was one goal that I had that I feel especially empowered around. 


Before this weekend, my experience with orgasm had everything to do with a conclusion. Now, the way that I am thinking about orgasm is not this really big balloon pop but a building, a layering of experience that doesn't have to look a certain way, doesn't have to sound a certain way, doesn't have to produce a certain amount of material. 


I was a part of a very privileged experience first and foremost because there’s no other place where we see a woman have pleasure. It’s so pornographic often, that we just don’t know what’s going on and we make a lot of assumptions about what’s going on. I got a lot of validation.  I got that there were things about my body that I didn't want a lover to see, I didn't feel comfortable about and then to see her pleasure manifesting itself in the way it was demonstrated was tremendously validating. I saw myself in her.


Pleasure as a Priority in Daily Life - Full Transcript



(www.welcomed.com) The conversation turns toward expanding sensuality as fun, more pleasure and menopause is explored further.  In this episode, a continuation of the last one, we present talk radio show host Rebekah Beneteau and her guest Yvonne Wray, a researcher from the Welcomed Consensus and Menopause Flashes:Turning Up The Heat blogger, both experienced in pleasurable menopause.

Some excerpts...

Yvonne: "In a hot flash one of the things that I experience is this intense rush of heat coming from my inner core of my body and in seconds I can break out into sweats and my heart is rushing and I feel like these fluttery feelings. It’s like Whoooooo!"

Yvonne:  "And that’s another way that I have it be fun for other people.  I’m not trying to pretend like I don’t have a hot flash.  I’m not trying to pretend that nothing’s happening.  Why not turn on?  That’s how I make it fun for other people, I turn on when it’s happening.  And I approve.  I’m in agreement.  Approval, other people feel it.  Other people feel me approve of the hot flash, of myself, of being a woman and you know that’s a rare thing. Somebody who approves of being in menopause, being middle-aged, having things happen that are out of control, so to speak.  It’s a really powerful way to live life."

Rebekah:  "For me it really becomes a spiritual discipline and a practice.  I feel  like when I give into my negativity and my anger it’s easy, it’s cheap excitement and  it’s lazy.  And it takes a little bit of work to get into agreement with how it is.  To find something to approve of and yes, to go for making every moment fun and pleasurable for myself and the people around me.  No matter what’s going on."

Yvonne: " Yes, It does take something from an individual to do that. You said that well. I think the payoff is huge.  It’s really huge when you do make that choice for fun and pleasure."

(www.welcomed.com) Fun, more pleasure and menopause? Can these experiences go together? In this episode and the next, we present talk radio show host Rebekah Beneteau and her guest Yvonne Wray, a researcher from the Welcomed Consensus. These two women have a lively conversation exploring this paradoxical theme.

Yvonne Wray

Some excerpts...

Rebekah: I love the idea that it’s not just limited to the bedroom, how you said, it filters out through your whole life. So what was the connection? How did you go from the sensual research then incorporate menopause into that?

Rebekah Beneteau Talk Radio HostYvonne: I began to notice the signs of menopause in my body, which I didn't actually recognize at first as being menopause. But as I started noticing these changes that I thought were kind of weird, I was able to notice them pretty quickly because I was used to paying attention to my body. I was used to paying attention to my monthly cycles. I was used to noticing the changes in my sexuality and my response and my desires, all of those things.

Rebekah: What were some of the things going in that you suddenly found yourself forced to examine all over or anew?

Yvonne: Just that I was really uninformed about menopause. I really thought some of the things I’m sure commonly all women think. For example, you do lose your sex hormones, you lose your desire.  That you're aging and therefore, you're going to be less valuable, less sexual, less -- you are just going to be less. Then all the terrible stories that you hear about how hard it is for women to go through menopause.  I could not put pleasure and menopause in the same sentence except to say that menopause is not pleasurable. I had a big clash of beliefs that erupted into my life when I realized -- Hey Yvonne, you're going into menopause here.

Fun, More Pleasure and Menopause: A Paradox? - Full Transcript

(www.welcomed.com) Monika, from Sexploration with Monika, asks What's "the point" of having sex? Is the reason we have sex to achieve the climax of orgasm or is it to have the whole experience of pleasure and connection that you and your partner share?

Monika Thomas Sexplorations InterviewIn this interview from Monika's sex-positive show, Sheri a Welcomed Consensus instructor tells us that if you can relax into the sensations without getting fixated on a goal, you can feel even more pleasure. In fact, every day for the last 25 years this educator and mother has made time with her partner for a practice that is all about pleasure. It's called "Deliberate Orgasm" or "DOing," and it's a practice that focuses attention of the sensations of the clitoris.

Sheri says that you can start with even 3 minutes of this practice and start building more pleasure, actually changing your nervous system and allowing you to feel more pleasure, expanding your ability to feel the enegy in your own body. Both men and women can experience Deliberate Orgasm as givers or receivers, and Sheri said that the possibilities are unlimited, even a THREE HOUR ORGASM!

We also talk about how the practice of DOing cultivates a deep sense of gratification that overflows into every part of her life, work, family, and all her relationships.

Imagine how much easier it is to be nice to everyone after you've had a 3-hour orgasm!!!

Sexploration with Monika Interviews Sheri of the Welcomed Consensus - Full Transcript

(www.welcomed.com) Laurie Handlers, well known author and Tantra teacher, interviews Welcomed Consensus researchers Sheri and Rebecca on her talk radio show Sex and Happiness. They discuss and share in great detail about how they conceived of capturing an up-close and personal look into Rebecca's private masturbation practice based on Deliberate Orgasm and why such a practice is necessary for today's women.

Sex and Happiness Interview by Laurie HandlersLaurie Handlers: Today my show is about really my favorite topic - orgasm. Orgasm is really the thing that I feel runs the world. I don't know if all of you agree with me on that...

Rebecca: It was about a year that I was thinking about making a female masturbation DVD, considering what I wanted to express. It is my personal journey of sensuality. I do expose myself and it is very personal, but I felt it was the only way that people would feel it. Only if I really was having the experience of DOing myself, using Deliberate Orgasm to produce this kind of orgasm in my body. I really had a great orgasm that day. Boy it was a fun time...A person who watches it can feel what I am feeling.

Laurie Handlers: The Dalai Lama said something about women bringing the world into peace and harmony, doesn't this self pleasuring relate to happy and fulfilled women? Like women who are happy with their bodies and happy in their orgasm, this would make a huge difference.

Rebecca: Absolutely, it is not only about self pleasure, but with Deliberate Orgasm I have a deep connection with my partner.It is gratifying deeply in your soul, they know you, they're producing that kind of pleasure for you, it is a profound experience. It is not out of happenstance. That is what is so fun. It is available any time to anyone who wants to know these techniques and ideas that produce that kind of orgasm in your life.

Sex and Happiness Interview by Laurie Handlers - Full Transcript

(www.welcomed.com) May is National Masturbation Month and this episode features Rebecca, a sensual reseracher who recently made a candid and unique female masturbation video entitled A Guide to Your Orgasm. Listen as she takes us through how deliberately exploring self-pleasure affected many areas of her life.

National Masturbation Month

Here are some excerpts...

Rebecca: All of the things that I do to be deliberate about being a sensual person and taking care of my body are the same things that I do in other areas of my life to have my life be good and to have it feel good to other people. When I feel good, other people feel good about me. When I’m turned on by myself, other people are turned on by me and that’s fun.

Sometimes I like very light touches, that’s just the way I feel and sometimes I want heavier touches and it’s fun to feel the way it changes it’s not always the same. It’s fun because there are so many things to experience and there are so many things to feel from a different place each day or each moment in time. When I’m touching myself it’s sensual research, it’s finding out what I like right now, something that I want to feel now. So it is always different.

Celebrate May, National Masturbation Month with Rebecca - Full Transcript.

(www.welcomed.com) Veronica Monet, ACS Certified Sexologist and Sex Educator, interviews sensual researchers Sheri and Rebecca from Welcomed.com on her Live Talk Radio Show The Shame Free Zone discovering what went on in the making of the explicit DVD A Guide to Your Orgasm.

Veronica Monet Host of The Shame Free Zone Talk Radio Show

Here are some excerpts...

Veronica: Why is orgasm even important to study?

Sheri: People don't tell the truth about how much they are interested in orgasm. People do make jokes about it. They are still thinking about it. We are all sensual-sexual beings and orgasm is part of our nature. And if you asked anyone - 'If you could have a better orgasm, or a gratifying orgasm and that was available to you would you like that?' I think everybody would say Yes, they would. And it is available for anyone and everyone. It is really just about having training, having information, being educated. Because as you well know Veronica, we are lacking in sexual education in this country, in many other countries and world wide.

Veronica: What's it like to appear in the explicit video A Guide to Your Orgasm, is there any part of it that is just fun to be in front of the camera?

Rebecca: Yes. I thought about it for a long time before I ever got to the camera. The person I'm thinking of reaching is that person out there who could have their life get better the way that mine did. There was a woman that I thought about when I was making the video, and I thought of the things that she could learn to expand her life and her orgasm and make it that much better. This video was so much fun to make. I thought about all the things that made my life better out of Deliberate Orgasm and masturbating with the technique. When I got on that camera I had so much energy in my body, it was intense from the very beginning. It was a great orgasm.

The making of A Guide to Your Orgasm DVD, an Interview with Veronica Monet host of The Shame Free Zone - Full Transcript.

Myths and Truth About Sex"It's a life changing experience to know how to please a woman." In this episode, you will hear from Charles in an interview that took place after he attended a 3-day Sensuality Retreat with The Welcomed Consensus. www.welcomed.com

Dissatisfied with his ability to satisfy a woman, Charles describes his search to find out more information and a better way to pleasure his partner. By experiencing the course and witnessing the live demonstration of the one-hour orgasm, he is given a more expansive view of what a woman’s orgasm can be and new ways of experiencing sensuality. His new awareness about satisfying a woman is described as the lights coming on. The transformation of Charles' doubt and mystery to feelings of fun and expansiveness is a highly educational and relatable story.

Here are some excerpts...

Charles: "I think that I have probably already said it, I'll say it again. It's a life changing experience to know how to please a woman."

"I'd always wanted to know more about sex, but my quest really began when I met this certain woman that I thought was the cat's meow. She was, I thought, the perfect female for me. But there was one little twist, and the little twist was that I couldn't satisfy her sexually. Then the quest intensified."

"So I started going to different things. There's a lot of snake oil salesmen out there. A lot - and I bought a lot of their products, because I really wanted to know and there's no place to turn for this type of stuff... I think back to 5 or 10 years ago, I would've thought that it was the size of your genitalia that was the most important. And a lot of guys think that. I think some women even think that. So it was puzzling to me. I wanted to know how to be a good lover and I just didn't know where to turn - there was so much misinformation out there. Then coming here and getting this information (about Deliberate Orgasm) and knowing that I am going to be able to apply it, it's a wonderful moment. I will use these principles and I won't forget because this is some big stuff I think, it will help you if you apply it, and it's very simple."

The entire transcript is available at the Welcomed Consensus website here Satisfy A Woman - Myths and Truth About Sex - Full Transcript.

Sandy, 45, has lived with her partner for over 4 years. Wanting to put fun and life back into her relationship, she came to a Sensuality Retreat www.welcomed.com seeking winning information about her sensuality and female orgasm. Listen to Sandy's retreat experience as she describes exactly what she was looking for, how she perceived her orgasm to be, the life changing discoveries she made and why she is so enthusiastic about going back home to the man she loves.

Here are some excerpts...

What was your concept of orgasm before coming to the retreat?  My concept of orgasm before coming to the retreat was that I didn't have them. I wasn't capable of having them. What I have had isn't validated. I don't have them like other women, it's supposed to be like fireworks!

Do you discuss orgasm with your friends?  I do, I express my concerns about my orgasms, I share with people that I feel like I don't have the same type of experience... and the response that I get from most women is "Oh, it's incredible, it's unbelievable, it's like nothing you've ever experienced before." I'll be like, okay, so what does THAT look like? And I don't really get an answer.

What were you looking for when you found the Welcomed Consensus?  Answers, to what a female orgasm looks like. Also, what a female orgasm feels like. To accept my own body and my own sexuality and sensuality. To be open to being a sensual woman, and being responsible for that as opposed to being in constant denial of "I am a sexual being and I have sexual needs."

The entire transcript is available at the Welcomed Consensus website here Fireworks and Female Orgasm - Sandy's Retreat Experience.

What would it be like to have the mystery taken out of sex and have it be a gratifying experience every time? How do you add deliberate into sex without loosing the spontaneity?

In Episode 11 you heard from Rachel, a student of the Welcomed Consensus, about her experiences adding Deliberate Orgasm to her sex life and being on the same page pleasurably with her partner. Part 2 continues with more from Rachel. She talks about how she first felt about having a deliberate orgasm and being deliberate, the possibilities and physical changes she has noticed in her body since witnessing a one hour orgasm demonstration and more.

Here are some excerpts...

Rachel: The communication does help. In the first place, when most people are just messing around with each other but not really even asking or telling anything that they are feeling because they’re worried that they might say the wrong thing. Initially there was a feeling that I don’t want it to sound rehearsed and I don’t want it to sound fake. After a couple really intense sessions with Vlad of using the training cycle especially, it started to make more sense and it started to click that this is something that actually works really well.


Rachel: I’m finding out a lot more about my own body and what feels great. When you can describe to your partner exactly what it is that you want - when I am able to do that it feels like this huge relief that I don’t have to always wonder or worry about the mystery that is my sex life. It is not really a mystery any more, although I’m learning all of these new things all the time, what’s really happened is that the level of possibility for my own body has changed.


Rachel: When my body is feeling, reacting in this way, especially when Vlad actually tells me what it is he sees, the different colorations ... When I hear that from him and when I know that is what is happening, it’s this gratifying experience because I know how much I like it. Especially with women, there is a lot of complex stuff going on, between mind/body and "I’m not sure if I want it but I want it" situations. But for me, when I turn the mind nozzle a little bit down and I just turn it off... and when I allow my body to feel it - then it does give me those signs that it’s responding.

The entire transcript is available at the Welcomed Consensus website here On the Same Page Pleasurably Part 2 - Full Transcript.

Have you ever felt like you wanted more out of life?  Have you ever fantasized about having a sex life where you could simply ask for what you want?  

In Episode 10 you heard from Vladimir regarding his experiences in learning about women through Deliberate Orgasm. Today you will hear from his DOing partner Rachael who agreed to be interviewed on her experiences Deliberate Orgasm and being on the same page pleasurably with her partner.

The interview was conducted in a question answer format, and she did not know the questions in advance.  She only knew that the topic would be Deliberate Orgasm, and documented as part of the ongoing sensual research of the Welcomed Consensus.

Rachel describes what she has experienced in her orgasm since incorporating Deliberate Orgasm into her sex life and how it has changed her approach to sex. She shares intimate details from her experiences of the many ways in which her orgasm has expanded. Feeling free from worrying about reciprocating, she talks about what it is like to feel sexually gratified by the fun and pleasure she gets from DOing. She candidly discusses what it feels like in her body to have a man put his attention on her and her pleasure.

Here are some excerpts:

Francoise: How did you hear about the Welcomed Consensus?

Rachel: I first heard about it from my DOing partner Vladimir and he sort of subtly introduced it and he showed me your website and so he gave me just a couple details about his experience when he had gone.

Francoise: What was happening in your life that you wanted more? I came from a pretty conservative background where sex was just out of the question, really any sort of teenage perspective, it was abstinence education, we signed a paper, "I promise not to have sex until marriage" and that’s it… there had been friends that I had had that I was just completely like sexually frustrated with and it got to a point where I was just swearing off sex completely, there’s just nothing out there that could possibly solve my problems, and then when I met Vlad, there were some things that we had talked about that made more sense.

Rachel: One of them was his sort of outlook on the fact that it’s the quid pro quo situation in sex and that he basically told me that he was going to put all of his attention on me and not want anything in return at all and that was new. I mean that was completely new and he was also really eager to do that. It wasn’t something that he felt, “Well this is something I’m going to do and then later on down the line I’m going to want something from you”. It was just, that was what he wanted and that was everything that he wanted. I could feel that I and I knew when he told me that was enough. So, when that happened, I allowed more of that feeling to sink in like, “Okay, this is this acceptable. This is something that I really like.” It’s pretty much completely changed the way that I approach sex.

The entire transcript is available at the Welcomed Consensus website here On the Same Page Pleasurably Part 1 - Full Transcript.

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